20 Women In History Who “Tamed” Men Everyone Else Feared
Taming “Monster” Men
History is full of intimidating men who inspired fear, commanded armies, ruled countries, or built reputations that made ordinary people steer clear of them. Yet some of these men had wives and girlfriends who saw a completely different side of them, at least behind closed doors. Of course, calling these women the ones who “tamed” their infamous partners is sometimes generous, especially when the relationship was complicated or the woman shared his ambitions.
1. Joséphine de Beauharnais and Napoleon Bonaparte
When Napoleon Bonaparte married Joséphine de Beauharnais in 1796, he had not yet become Emperor of the French or one of Europe’s most feared militaristic leaders. They had a notoriously tumultuous relationship, though Napoleon remained emotionally invested regardless of how their marriage ended. Joséphine de Beauharnais was also influential in Parisian high society, playing a role in crafting both the style and cultural expectations of the new imperial court.
2. Clara Petacci and Benito Mussolini
Italian dictator Benito Mussolini took Clara Petacci as his longtime mistress beginning in the 1930s. She remained devoted throughout the duration of his career, even as his regime caused increasing devastation. It would be hard to argue that Mussolini was ever really “tamed” by Petacci’s influence, but she did stick by his side up until the end.
3. Soong Mei-ling and Chiang Kai-shek
Chinese political leader Chiang Kai-shek married Soong Mei-ling in 1927. He led Nationalist China with an iron fist, while she became an influential figure both during and after their marriage. Far from being his gentle sidekick, she was able to navigate a relationship with one of the world’s most powerful men.
4. Jiang Qing and Mao Zedong
Famed Chinese communist leader Mao Zedong was married to Jiang Qing until his passing. In her later years, Jiang Qing became one of Communist China’s most powerful players. She held impressive sway behind the throne, meaning this pair doesn’t quite fit the classic idea of a powerful man and weak woman forced into marriage.
Unknown photographer on Wikimedia
5. Elena Ceausescu and Nicolae Ceausescu
Romanian ruler Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena worked closely together to lead their country. She eventually became corrupt herself and rose to power through similar methods. Marriage didn’t appear to make Nicolae any less cruel or dictator-like.
6. Khieu Ponnary and Pol Pot
Cambodian communist revolutionary Pol Pot was first married to Khieu Ponnary. She preceded him in leadership positions within their party and was also heavily involved in politics prior to their marriage. The two ruled Cambodia together during their lethal regime.
Unknown authorUnknown author on Wikimedia
7. Ieng Thirith and Ieng Sary
Cambodian politician Ieng Sary married his wife, Ieng Thirith, not long after the pair joined the revolution. She was heavily involved in politics during their time in power and rose to serve as Cambodia’s Minister of Social Affairs. These two weren’t exactly ordinary people caught up in a political leader’s life; they were partners in crime.
Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia on Wikimedia
8. Mae Capone and Al Capone
Al Capone was the most famous member of Chicago’s criminal underground during the Prohibition era. However, his wife, Mae, steered clear of criminal activity and focused on maintaining a normal life with her family. There wasn’t a whole lot to fear from Al Capone when he was at home with the woman who married him.
Chicago Bureau (Federal Bureau of Investigation) - Wide World Photos. on Wikimedia
9. Virginia Hill and Bugsy Siegel
Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel was an American mob boss and longtime partner of criminal associate Virginia Hill. She was no wallflower or innocent bystander by any means, having already become involved with organized crime before her relationship with Siegel began. Their relationship was complex since they were both notorious criminals themselves.
10. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow
Bonnie and Clyde aren’t quite the boss and partner in crime we think of in these kinds of lists, but their relationship certainly fits the theme. Rather than softening her partner into a law-abiding citizen, she joined him in crime and became a fugitive from the law alongside him.
11. Belle Starr and Sam Starr
American outlaw Belle Starr married her husband, Sam, while he was involved with a notorious criminal gang. Like Bonnie and Clyde, she became even more entrenched in crime when they married. They were eventually convicted of horse theft together, and Belle became famous in her own right.
Unknown authorUnknown author on Wikimedia
12. Evelyn “Billie” Frechette and John Dillinger
Evelyn “Billie” Frechette became the girlfriend of John Dillinger during his notorious crime spree in the 1930s. Dillinger's gang had become infamous across the Midwest, yet his relationship with Frechette gave him a personal connection away from the headlines. She certainly didn't transform him into a law-abiding citizen, but she remained an important part of his private life.
Federal Bureau of Investigation on Wikimedia
13. Polly Hamilton and John Dillinger
After his relationship with Evelyn “Billie” Frechette ended, John Dillinger met Polly Hamilton and began seeing her romantically. He was an infamous criminal at this point and had been labeled the head of a gang responsible for multiple incidents across the Midwest. Polly Hamilton had a far more intimate relationship with Dillinger than the one he shared with the public.
14. Carole Hoff and John Wayne Gacy
In 1972, Carole Hoff married John Wayne Gacy long before his crimes were made public. By 1976, she had divorced him as the reality of his actions began to sink in. No secret trick for taming a monster; she just found out her husband was not who he claimed to be.
Des Plaines Police Department on Wikimedia
15. Marlynn Myers and John Wayne Gacy
Marlynn Myers was John Wayne Gacy’s first wife, married over 10 years before Hoff. The two were together for over a decade and had children together before divorcing. Her story demonstrates how thoroughly Gacy was able to maintain an ordinary public image around people who knew him personally.
White House photographer on Wikimedia
16. Zee James and Jesse James
Jesse James met and married his wife, Zerelda “Zee” Mimms, during his youth. They stayed married until Jesse passed, giving her inside perspective on the life of one of America’s most infamous criminals. She played a pivotal role in shaping James family lore.
17. Clara Bow and Rex Bell
Western actor and politician Rex Bell was married to actress Clara Bow. Unlike many other men on this list, Bell wasn’t necessarily feared or dangerous, but a legendary figure in his own right. Hollywood has a long history of making rugged masculinity intimidating, even when it’s only fictional.
Harold Dean Carsey (1886-1947) on Wikimedia
18. Stephanie St. Clair and Bumpy Johnson
Stephanie St. Clair was a powerful Harlem underworld figure who became romantically involved with Ellsworth “Bumpy” Johnson. Unlike many women on this list, St. Clair already had a formidable reputation before the relationship began. Their partnership was less about her taming a feared man and more about two influential figures meeting on relatively equal ground.
19. Mary Todd Lincoln and Abraham Lincoln
Honest Abe may not have seemed scary to the American public, but he was one of the most scrutinized leaders as he led the United States through the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln married Mary Todd before his presidency, and their relationship was far from simple.
20. Hürrem Sultan and Suleiman the Magnificent
One of the more powerful women on this list, Hürrem Sultan was the wife and consort of Ottoman Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent. While he was an impressive figure during his own reign, she wasn’t scared to pull some power of her own from the throne while she remained his wife.
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