Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

History books usually paint ancient leaders and famous thinkers as stoic geniuses, but if you look a little closer, you will find some breathtakingly desperate behavior. We have all seen someone completely lose their mind over a crush, bending over backward and compromising their dignity just to get noticed by someone who barely cares. It turns out that kings, queens, and famous artists were not immune to this exact type of embarrassing romantic overextension.

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1. Cleopatra and Mark Antony

You know her from history class as a fierce leader, but she destabilized her entire kingdom to be with a high-maintenance, paranoid soldier. She paid for his huge armies and organized excessive orgies that emptied out her coffers. It is the ultimate cautionary tale of giving empire-level resources to a random guy.

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2. King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn

This man literally broke away from the Catholic Church and altered the entire course of European history. Just because he was desperate to marry one specific woman. He spent years writing dramatic love letters, tearing down his government, and banishing his loyal first wife to get Anne to say yes.

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3. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert

After her husband passed away, this British monarch took mourning to a level that completely paralyzed her royal duties for decades. She wore nothing but black for forty years. Her staff and citizens were exhausted by the endless display.

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4. Juana of Castile and Philip the Handsome

This Spanish queen earned the nickname "Juana the Mad" because she refused to let her unfaithful husband go, even after he passed away. She traveled across the country with his coffin. Regularly opening it up to kiss his remains and ensure no other women could get near him.

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5. Nero and Poppaea Sabina

The infamous Roman emperor went to terrifying lengths to please his glamorous wife. Including ordering the execution of his own mother when she disapproved of the relationship. He showered Poppaea with insane luxuries, like organizing a personal guard of five hundred donkeys just so she could take daily milk baths.

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6. Marie Antoinette and Count Axel von Fersen

While France was literally starving and preparing for a massive revolution. This queen was secretly funding a handsome Swedish diplomat who captured her heart. She spent ridiculous amounts of royal money buying him expensive horses, custom uniforms, and luxury apartments close to her palace.

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7. Julius Caesar and Cleopatra

Rome's infamous leader actually suspended his dictatorship and took a cruise boat down the Nile River with Cleopatra. Caesar had political enemies back home due to his actions. He did all this heavy lifting for a woman who was mostly using his military muscle to secure her own family throne anyway.

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8. Catherine the Great and Grigory Potemkin

Russia's longest-reigning female leader gave her sweetheart outrageous amounts of gifts to keep him happy. Among them were multiple palaces, government titles, and literally thousands of serfs. When they stopped dating, she continued letting him control her political decisions.

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9. Lord Byron and Lady Caroline Lamb

Lord Byron was the quintessential player, but this woman took her obsession with him way too far. After they broke up, she lit a homemade version of him on fire. She showed up at his home dressed as a male servant just to see him.

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10. Peter the Third and Frederick the Great

Peter loved this Prussian king so much that he sabotaged his country's own war effort to please him. With Prussia close to defeating Russia in a hostile invasion, Peter stepped in as the new czar and literally gave back all the territory his army had fought for.

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11. Tsarina Alexandra and Grigori Rasputin

Desperate to cure her son's illness, the last empress of Russia allowed a strange, unwashed mystic to basically run her household and influence government appointments. She defended his bizarre behavior to the entire nation. Ignoring furious warnings from her advisors and the public that he was ruining the monarchy's reputation.

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12. Elizabeth I and Robert Dudley

The Virgin Queen kept her childhood sweetheart on a leash for decades, funding his expensive military expeditions and tolerating his erratic behavior. She nearly caused a massive political revolt by hinting she might marry him. She constantly bailed him out of massive financial debt and ignored her councilors.

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13. King Ludwig II and Richard Wagner

Known as the "Mad King" of Bavaria, Ludwig spent his country's entire budget building fairy-tale castles and funding his favorite opera composer. Wagner took absolute advantage of this devotion. Demanding endless money for his lavish lifestyle while treating the king like a personal piggy bank.

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14. Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II

She was one of the wealthiest women in medieval Europe, but she handed her massive territories over to a younger English king who treated her terribly. Henry constantly cheated on her. Even locked her in a tower for fifteen years when she complained and used her lands to fund his own wars.

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15. The Chevalier d'Eon and the French Monarchy

This brilliant eighteenth-century spy spent decades operating in foreign courts, cross-dressing, and gathering top-secret intel for King Louis XV. Despite doing the absolute most for the crown, the French government constantly cut the spy's funding, threatened arrest, and eventually forced d'Eon into permanent exile.

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16. Empress Elisabeth of Austria and Franz Joseph

Popularly known as Sisi, this empress subjected herself to insane beauty rituals. She spent hours tightly lacing her corsets and washing her ankle-length hair in raw eggs and brandy. All to please a husband who was constantly distracted by politics and other women anyway.

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17. Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Thérèse Levasseur

The famous Enlightenment philosopher spent decades with a laundry maid whom he constantly looked down upon. He forced her to give away all five of their newborn children to a notorious orphanage because he claimed they would ruin his quiet writing time. Despite his terrible treatment and public embarrassment, she stayed by his side.

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18. Mary Tudor and Philip II of Spain

England's first reigning queen completely alienated her entire country just to please her distant, younger Spanish husband. She dragged her nation into an expensive, disastrous war with France. That lost England its last continental territory, all because Philip asked her for military help.

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19. Alexander the Great and Hephaestion

The legendary conqueror regularly paused his world-dominating campaigns to accommodate his favorite general's fragile ego. When Hephaestion finally passed away from a fever, Alexander completely lost his mind. He took his anger out on the doctor who failed to save him and banned all music in the empire.

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20. King Carol II of Romania and Magda Lupescu

This twentieth-century king actually abdicated his throne not just once. But twice, all because his country refused to accept his scandalous mistress. He abandoned his royal responsibilities, left his young son to deal with a crumbling political landscape, and fled the country to live a life of luxury with her abroad.

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