Beauty Is, In Fact, Pain

As humans have evolved and thought and built more, we’ve come across some pretty crazy realizations. For instance, we decided that we shouldn’t eat things off of radium plates, or smoke to soothe the nerves, or play with lead. The same goes for our beauty treatments, like the ones we’ve mentioned below.

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1. Crocodile Dung

The ancient Egyptians and Romans often used crocodile dung for mud baths and face masks. It was believed that dung had toning and anti-aging effects and whitened the skin. Women also used it as a base for rouge, which is gross, but was also a safer option than lead makeup.

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2. White Lead

Historically called Venetian ceruse, many women mixed white lead and vinegar to create the most dangerous foundation in history. Sure, it concealed your imperfections, but you also were at risk for lead poisoning, skin damage, hair loss, and dental issues.

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3. Madame Rowley’s Toilet Mask

This 19th-century beauty mask was the precursor to the modern sheet mask. Made of India rubber, the mask was meant to be worn during sleep, promising to soften and clarify the skin and aid in circulation. You looked a little crazy, and you also spent your night feeling like you were suffocating.

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4. Raw Meat

The Victorian Era was truly a crazy time. On top of the rubber sleep mask, Victorian women were also told to place slices of raw beef or veal on their faces in an effort to reduce wrinkles. Even if it was helpful, there were definitely major risks for maintaining prolonged contact with raw meat. 

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5. Urine

In ancient Rome, urine played a huge role in a beauty routine. It was used to cleanse and exfoliate skin, and as a mouthwash of sorts. The ammonia in the urine helped to remove dead skin cells and whiten teeth, but it’s still pee. 

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6. Radium

Many skincare and makeup products contained radium, as the chemical was praised for giving you a “glowing complexion.” Of course, we know now that radium poisoning is nasty work, often resulting in lifelong health issues or even death. 

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7. Belladonna

Women often used an extract from this poisonous plant to dilate their pupils, leading to a wide-eyed and more beautiful look. Despite many women losing their eyesight over this practice, it was common throughout the 19th century. 

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8. Fire Treatments

This practice is known as huo liao, and it comes from ancient China. It involves applying alcohol-soaked towels to the face and lighting them on fire to tighten the skin. This practice is still popular today, and is said to be completely safe, but we can understand if it's not something you want to try.

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9. Tapeworms

Again, this Victorian-era diet craze is nothing short of dangerous. You can eat whatever you want and never gain weight, and you’ll only have to put up with side effects like abdominal pain, nausea, fever, diarrhea, weakness, bacterial infections, and neurological issues!

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10. Relax-A-Cizor

This fitness wearable came out in the 1950s, and was considered so dangerous that it should’ve been destroyed. Over 400,000 Relax-A-Cizors were sold in the post-WWII era, promising to tone your body with ease. Unfortunately, many women suffered ruptured blood vessels, paralysis, miscarriages, and a plethora of other health issues due to this machine.

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11. Crushed Beetles

Cochineal beetles were often used for creating vibrant red pigments like lipstick and rouge. It was often used by the Aztecs and Egyptians, and aside from it being a little gross, it can also cause some pretty severe allergic reactions.

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12. Clay

Clay masks have been used for millennia to detoxify and purify the skin. That’s all well and good, but our ancient ancestors also decided it was good enough to eat. Clay was used to protect the stomach and intestines, help with diarrhea, or even as a makeup product. Of course, this could lead to internal blockages, breathing problems, or skin problems.

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13. Foot Binding

This ancient Chinese custom involved tightly binding a girl's feet to prevent them from growing. This practice was performed for beauty and status, as women with “lotus feet” did not have to perform manual labor. However, the practice caused pain, bleeding, infection, and physical deformities. 

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14. Arsenic

In 1890, Dr. James P. Campbell started selling arsenic-infused “complexion wafers” to help women achieve their ideal complexion. Women would eat the wafers or wash in arsenic to remove freckles, blackheads, pimples, redness, or other skin issues. At least your skin would look great while you were dying from cancer. 

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15. Glamor Helmets

This 20th-century invention was said to improve one's complexion by creating a low-pressure environment around the head. They were often popular during the 1940s and were said to boost blood circulation and provide the user with a rosy complexion. Unfortunately, the helmet had the potential to ruin someone's hair, and also looked plain weird.

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16. McGregor Rejuvenator

This early 20th-century device claimed to reverse aging and solve a plethora of health and beauty issues. How, you ask? Well, magnets, of course! Individuals would lie in a chamber and subject their bodies to magnets, radio waves, infrared, and ultraviolet light. Unfortunately, certain customers experienced nerve injury, vascular damage, bleeding, and bruising— on top of not getting their promised results.

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17. Dimple Stamper

This 1930s invention was created by Isabella Gilbert as a way to make “dimples on demand.” The device not only didn’t work, but it was also said to be quite painful. From the looks of it, we’re not surprised.

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18. Bloodletting

The Egyptians are attributed as the first people group to use bloodletting, but the practice was used around the world for millennia. In the 6th century, aristocratic women wanted the palest face possible, and incorporated controlled bleeding to keep themselves looking pale and waifish. 

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19. Gladiator Sweat

It was a common practice in ancient Rome to collect and sell gladiator sweat as a luxury beauty product. Gladiators were scraped after matches, as their sweat, oil, and grime were said to have medicinal, anti-aging, and aphrodisiac properties. 

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20. Gasoline Shampoo

This 20th-century practice involved mixing gasoline with proto dry shampoo products, often mixed with other chemicals. Hair salons that lacked running water also used gasoline as a means to clean the hair. We’re sure we don’t need to describe the issue that comes with spreading gasoline all over yourself.

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